Picking up the Pieces
by Papillon Noir
Summary: Bella/Jacob
1. Chapter 1

The phone rang four times before Charlie stumbled down the stairs to answer it.

"Jeez, Bella, mind helping me out a little bit?"

Bella had been sitting in a kitchen chair, watching the phone blankly. Charlie had obviously just woken from a nap, his disheveled hair sticking out in clumps. Bella stared, unseeing.

Charlie's face softened a bit. The poor kid had come back from Italy to go chasing after that Cullen boy. She'd come home in a trance. The only words she'd spoken in weeks were "He's gone." Charlie had harbored a grudge against Edward ever since he left the first time. Apparently he'd rejected her again.

Charlie seemed relieve as he handed the phone to Bella. "It's Jake. He wants to talk to you."

After a few seconds it registered to Bella that she'd been addressed. She stared at Charlie dumbly until he shook the phone in front of her face. She numbly reached out her hand. She couldn't make her mouth form the world "hello".

"Bella," came the husky voice from the other end. "Bella, I need to see you."

Bella's mouth opened and closed. She willed herself to say "No, I'm alright" but no sound came from her throat.

"Look, I'm coming to get you right now whether you want me to or not. Be there in 10."

The line disconnected and Bella handed the phone back to her father.

"This'll be good for you, Bells. Jake's a good kid. He's good for you. Get out of the house for a while, go do something fun to get your mind off… things."

Charlie patted the top of her head awkwardly and headed back upstairs.

A few minutes later there was a knock on the front door. Bella hadn't moved from her chair. She barely heard the creak of the door opening before Jacob was at her side, kneeling on the floor at her eye level.

"Bella," he breathed. His hand cupped her face. The heat seeped through her skin and brought her back to reality. "I heard what happened."

For a split second Bella snapped back to reality. The pain threatened to explode through her chest but she swallowed it back. She slipped back into her daze.

"I don't care if you never speak again. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through right now. But I'm never going anywhere, do you understand?"

Without a word he scooped her out of the chair into his arms and out the door. He gently placed her in the passenger seat of her pickup and drove her to his house.

"I told Charlie I'd take you out to do something fun," he explained. "But really I was just planning on bringing you here."

Bella didn't respond. Jacob sighed and walked around the truck to get her door. She slid out of the seat and struggled to stand. She could barely remember how to walk. He picked her up again and brought her inside the house.

Billy wasn't home. Jacob explained that he'd gone fishing. Bella nodded absently.

"I have to go check in with Sam, but I'll only be gone an hour at the most. Sorry to bring you here and run off like this. I swear I'll be back," Jacob said. He looked guilty.

Unable to speak, Bella just nodded again. Jacob took her face in his hand again for a moment then he was out the door in a blink.

Bella looked around the small house. She remembered the times she'd come here, when… he… had left. She looked out the window toward the small garage where she and Jake had spent hours working on their bikes. Suddenly Bella felt heavy, like her soul was made of stone. She sat down on the couch and folded her hands in her lap. She forced herself to think, to keep herself from slipping back into the abyss.

She was back in Italy.

_Edward had been so happy to see her. For a few brief moments it felt as if they'd never been apart. And then, the Volturi. They had taken Edward. The last memory she had of him was the heavy wooden door being shut in her face, seeing his wide eyes as they dragged him into the darkness._

_Alice had had to tear her away from the door. Bella had clawed at it until her fingernails were bloody and broken. Alice had flown them back to Forks. The Cullens offered to come back and stay with Bella, but she had just shaken her head. The pain was too much. She couldn't look at them every day without seeing _him_. It hurt Bella every time Charlie spoke negatively about Edward. He'd assumed Edward had told her he didn't want her again._

"Hey, I'm back," Jacob called suddenly, ripping Bella from her memories. "I got… oh."

Jacob walked into the living room and found Bella curled on the couch, heaving sobs racking her body. Jacob tossed the pizza box he'd carried with him onto the table and hurried to her side. He rubbed her back and tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"It's okay," he soothed. "I'm here. I'll always be here."

Bella grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to her. He was shirtless and his skin was on fire. She placed her damp cheek against his chest and used the pounding of his heart to calm her hysterics.

When her sobs had turned to chokes and gasps, she looked up into Jacob's eyes. His face was a blur from the streaming tears, but she saw concern etched into his features.

Bella tried to force herself to breathe normally. "Don't do that," Jacob said sharply. "Don't try to pretend like you're not falling apart. _Grieve_, Bella. It's alright. I'm here."

A small gasp escaped Bella's lips and she allowed the pain to flood her mind. The ache ripped through her heart and she cried so fiercely that for a few moments, no sound escaped her mouth. Then the cries of agony came and she made no attempt to stop them. She squeezed her hands into fists as she finally allowed her soul to release its pent up suffering. She cried until she felt numbness slowly leaking into her consciousness.

_Edward was standing in a familiar meadow, his hand outstretched. Jacob stood beside him. There was no animosity between them. They both seemed at peace._

_Bella ran to Edward and flung herself into his arms. He inhaled her scent deeply._

"_I miss you," Bella whispered into his shirt collar._

"_I know," Edward said quietly. "I loved you so much, Bella."_

_Bella gripped his shirt until Edward gently pulled her hands away. He held them to his chest for a long moment. Then he turned, and smiled serenely at Jacob. Jacob nodded solemnly once, and reached out his hands._

"_No..." Bella protested weakly as Edward placed her hands in Jacob's. "Edward…"_

"_It's okay, Bella," Jacob said as he pressed their hands to his chest. The thrum of his heart filled her ears. "I love you."_

_Bella whipped her head around to find Edward, but he was gone. She looked back into Jacob's eyes and he met her gaze. _

"_I'm here," he said._

Bella awoke with a start. She didn't remember falling asleep. Then everything flooded her memory at once. The loss, the pain, the grief. Her eyes were swollen and puffy and her head was throbbing. She looked around and saw that Jacob had brought her into his bedroom. She was in his bed, tangled in his sheets. She saw him wedged into a small recliner in the corner. His sleeping face looked weary and drawn.

Bella was astonished to find that though the crushing grief still threatened to envelop her, allowing herself to cry had relieved some of the agony. She tried to remember what she had dreamt that had made her feel somehow… more whole.

Jacob heard her getting up from the bed and immediately snapped awake. From the tired look in his eyes, he hadn't slept much. "How do you feel?" he asked, concerned.

"I…" Bella started. Jacob gasped hurried to sit beside her on the bed. He nodded encouragingly. Bella hadn't spoken since…

"I…" Bella said again. Her voice sounded strange in her own ears. It was foreign and hoarse. "Jake." she said simply.

Bella felt an overwhelming rush of emotion fill her. It was so deep it almost, almost made her forget the pain. Jacob had been her sun when Edward had left her the first time. He had understood that she could never be whole without Edward, and yet he still wanted her. He had rescued her from the darkness and brought her into the light. And Bella knew he would do it again and again, anytime he saw her falling. Because he loved her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. Gratitude erupted in her heart. "Jake," she said again.

"I'm here, Bella," he said. Concern colored his voice. "Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Cold?..." he trailed off.

She pulled back and looked into his face for what felt like the first time. She really looked at him. She memorized every feature. Bella felt a desperate need to be close to him.

She used his t-shirt to pull herself flat against him. His warmth flooded her body and a gasp escaped her throat. She had never felt so glad to have Jacob as a friend.

Bella could tell Jacob was confused by the way he sat stiffly. He patted her back hesitantly.

"Hold me, Jake," she pleaded roughly. At once Jacob wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. She could feel his heart rate quicken. Bella wondered how many times he'd dreamt of holding her this way.

Bella had never imagined wanting anyone but Edward. She still felt a stab of pain every time she thought about him, but when she felt the darkness closing in around her, she imagined Jacob, and her world brightened. She knew in her heart he would never leave her. She could almost hear Edward telling her this is what he wanted, for her to be happy.

She pulled away from Jacob and again and he put his hand to her cheek. A tear escaped her eye and he wiped it away with his thumb.

"I thought I'd lost you," he said sadly.

Bella tried to smile to reassure him, but she knew it was too soon. She didn't know if she was capable of smiling anymore. But she promised herself she would try to relearn how to live. For Edward.


	2. Chapter 2

Jacob and Bella were virtually inseparable. During school, he had dropped her off and picked her up every day. During the summer she spent every day at his house, and every night he snuck through her window, just as Edward had done. He didn't sleep in her bed. Bella wasn't ready to do with Jacob that which had become such a routine with her first love.

If Bella was honest with herself, she knew the reason she spent so much time with Jacob was because he filled the emptiness in her heart as best he could. He was so easy to be with. When Bella was with him, she truly felt happy, as long as she forced herself not to think of Edward. At first she was worried Jacob would see through her charade, but he either didn't notice or chose to ignore it. Bella was grateful either way.

"You ready to go?" Jacob asked cheerfully. They were taking advantage of the semiannual sunny day in Forks and going to the La Push beach. Bella smiled and nodded.

Jacob beamed at her and held his car door open for her. They reached the reservation quickly, due to Jacob's driving. He drove almost as fast as Edward.

Bella commanded herself to stop comparing Jacob and Edward. They were different people, and she loved them differently. Though she had grown to love Jacob more deeply, their relationship was still more like friendship to her. She had only been able to kiss him a few times. Each time the kiss grew intense she would break it off and leave the room. She hoped Jacob wasn't offended. He didn't seem to be, but Bella suspected he was hiding his frustration. Any time he tried to touch her she found ways to shrug off his hand nonchalantly.

When they reached the beach it was empty. Jacob sprinted to the water, faster than humanly possible.

"C'mon!" he waved.

Bella walked slowly toward the water, not in the mood to swim. Today was one of her bad days. She found it difficult to dispel her thoughts of Edward.

Jacob had swum further out than Bella could muster up the strength to. She waded in the shallower water. Jacob swam toward her and gathered her in his arms. At first Bella tried to resist but he held her tight.

"Look at me," he said.

Bella waggled her fingers in the water, not meeting his eyes.

"Look at me," he said again, more forcefully.

Bella looked into his face guiltily. He was so good at reading her.

"You're not in the mood for this. I can tell. I'll take you home, and you can call me when you want to hang out," Jacob said. Bella could tell he was trying to hide his hurt by being calloused.

"No, Jake," she said, grabbing his hand. "I want to be here with you."

It wasn't completely a lie.

Jacob sighed and released her. She felt suddenly cold. He turned and swam back out to sea. Bella reached out her hand to touch him, but let it drop.

After an hour, Jacob drove them back to his house. He let Bella shower first, then she waited on his bed while he took one. When he emerged from the bathroom he plopped down beside her. Bella could feel his eyes on her but she stared at the floor.

"My dad's gone hunting with Harry Clearwater today," Jacob said quietly.

"Hmm," Bella said absently.

He gently grabbed her chin and pulled her face to his. He stared into her eyes for a moment before he brought his face to hers and kissed her. Bella felt a flutter in her stomach as Jacob's burning lips met hers. His tongue trailed along her bottom lip and he pressed his mouth against hers harder.

Bella could hear Jacob's breathing quicken as he kissed her more fervently. He sighed her name and pulled her close to his body. Bella decided to allow herself to really experience the kiss, and she found that she enjoyed the warmth flooding through her body.

When she parted her lips and allowed Jacob's tongue to enter, he whimpered. He placed his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her closer to himself. Bella suddenly felt guilty. She had been denying her feelings for Jacob for the past few months, and she had hurt him by being distant. He truly cared for her. She blinked back tears as she realized that she wanted Jacob, and had been cold to him. She knew what it felt like to feel unwanted by someone you loved.

She kissed him back with more determination. She could feel the heat radiating off of him in waves. He covered her mouth with kisses and frantically ran his hands through her hair, over her face, trying to hold onto the moment.

Bella finally put her hands on Jacob's chest and pushed slightly. She knew she couldn't move him by herself, and that it must have taken all his determination to pull away. His dark eyes were burning as he searched hers for an explanation.

"Um," Bella panted, trying to find her words. "We should stop here for now."

"Why?" Jacob asked huskily. He kissed her again, and Bella struggled to stay in control of her body.

"Because we're not ready to do this yet," she said weakly.

"I want to show you how much I love you," Jacob said evenly. Bella blushed.

Jacob attempted to pull her to himself again but Bella managed to keep her head and stood up. She crossed her arms and paced the floor. Jacob stayed still on the bed, but Bella thought he looked hurt.

"Look, Jake, I'm not saying never, okay? Just… not yet. I'm not ready."

Jacob nodded once. "I guess I better get you home."

Bella was surprised to find night had fallen. How long had she been in Jacob's room? He drove her home and she got out of the car, pausing before shutting the door.

"Are you coming back?" she asked.

Jacob stared at his hands on the steering wheel. "If you want me to," he finally said.

"Yes," she responded without hesitation.

He backed out of the driveway. Bella knew he'd be back once Charlie had gone to sleep.

Bella picked out her only pair of shorts and a tank top to sleep in. The night air was balmy and humid.

When Jacob jumped through the window, he paused to look at her before lying on his usual spot on the floor.

"Jake," Bella said softly. She knew he could hear her. "Would you… sleep in my bed tonight?"

A moment passed before Jacob stood up and laid on her bed, pulling the covers to his chest. Bella thought she spied a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. She got in beside him and couldn't resist snuggling up to this warmth. He turned over on his side and stroked her hair.

"I thought… I thought you didn't want me," he whispered.

"Oh, Jake," she whispered back. "I know I keep hurting you. I'm so sorry. I swear, things are going to change."

"It's okay, honey," he said and kissed her cheek lightly.

"I love you," Bella said.

"I love you, too."

"Good night, Jake."

"G'night, Bells."


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Bella awoke enveloped in heat. She opened her eyes and smiled when she realized Jacob was holding her to his chest. It was the first time she'd woken up and her first though hadn't been of Edward. She brushed the backs of her fingers across Jacob's forehead. His eyelids fluttered, but he didn't wake. Bella's smile widened.

Bella found she loved watching Jacob sleep. She reveled in the boyish innocence of his face, and the way his mouth twitched as if he were talking in his sleep made her want to giggle.

She surprised herself when she realized he was perfect. Not physically perfect like Edward, but perfect in his own way. Perfect for her.

She studied his face until his eyes slowly opened. He grinned. "Hey."

"Good morning," Bella replied.

Jacob rubbed his eyes.

"What time is it?" he asked, sitting up and stretching.

Bella watched in awe as he flexed the muscles in his back. He shook his entire body like a dog.

"Ten o'clock?" she said distractedly.

"I guess I better meet up with the pack," Jacob said reluctantly. "I'll come back as soon as I can though," he added quickly.

"Okay." Bella smiled, and he jumped out the window and ran toward the woods.

When Jacob came back two hours later, Bella hadn't gotten out of bed. She had dozed off again after he left, and had just woken up when he returned.

"Wow, Bells, you must have been tired," he chuckled.

"I haven't slept that well in months," Bella admitted. Jacob beamed.

He crossed the room to kiss her lightly on the forehead. She got up and made her way toward the bathroom, and after she had showered and changed clothes, she found Jacob downstairs in the kitchen.

"I hope you like pancakes," he said, gesturing toward the piles of dirty dishes he'd stacked on the counter. Amongst them was a plate containing charred lumps of batter.

"How did you manage to burn the batter _and _prevent it from cooking all the way through?" she laughed.

Jacob grinned sheepishly and emptied the contents of the plate into the trash. "Cereal it is!"

Bella watched him move about the kitchen, so big and yet somehow graceful. She smiled to herself. She noted with a twinge of almost guilt that she'd been smiling more recently. She wondered if the key to getting over Edward's death was getting close to Jacob.

Without thinking Bella got up from her chair and crossed the kitchen to where Jacob stood. He stopped looking for a bowl, and almost dropped the cereal box he was holding. Bella stood on her tiptoes and kissed Jacob full on the mouth.

He threw the cereal box over his shoulder and grabbed her by the waist, crushing her to his chest. She automatically wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, but her legs were slightly too short. Jacob placed his hands under her thighs to support her. He gripped them tightly.

Bella had never felt so complete. She pulled Jacob's face as close to hers as she could and fiercely kissed him. It felt so good to let go. Jacob turned and sat her on the counter, pulling her tight to him. The heat from his skin sent Bella into delirium. She couldn't get enough of his body on hers.

Bella broke the kiss with a gasp and laid her head back against a cabinet door. Jacob moved to kiss down her neck to her collarbone, where he sucked ever so slightly. Bella sucked in her breath. His hot breath on her neck caused goose bumps to form on her arms, which were quickly dispelled by the heat of his body.

"I _want_ you," he moaned gruffly.

"Oh, Jake," she said breathlessly, and pulled him back into a kiss.

He picked her up off the counter and carried her upstairs to her bed, gently laying her down. He lied on top of her, careful not to put too much of his weight on her. She could feel every inch of her body covered by his.

"I want to show you how much I love you," Bella said quietly, sounding out each word slowly…


End file.
